AuthorComms: Sonic '06
by Charge the Cat
Summary: SEND IN A CHARACTER FOR MY AUTHORREP TO INTERVIEW, ANNOY SONIC CHARACTERS WITH AND WATCH SONIC '06 CLIPS!
1. Chapter 1

**AuthorComms presents: Sonic 06 commentary**

The recording studio sat under the mysterious cover of darkness, chairs turned away from the silent recording area. Spiders spun cobwebs in the upper corners of the ceiling, and small piles of dust had formed where feet had long since trod.

That is, it was silent until footsteps and a light tapping came from the hallway leading to the recording studio. The tapping soon developed into a rhythm, which in turn became the beat from In Too Deep by Sum 41. The footsteps and tapping continued until it stopped outside the door to the studio. Then a light jangling was heard as whoever was outside pulled out a set of keys and set them into the lock. All the while, the person whistled the chorus along with Deryck Whibley until the lock finally clicked open.

The door creaked open to reveal a male teenaged human, about 5'9 in height with medium-cut dark blonde hair, wearing a grey hoody partially unzipped to show a light blue t-shirt with an oriental design on it. The pockets on his loose cut pale blue bulged with unknown items, while his blue, white and gold New Balance running shoes tapped the floor as he tried to keep the beat of music. A leather fedora hung from a drawstring around his neck on his back. His face wasn't distinguishable due to the fact he was banging his head to the music blaring out of a set of Sony MDR-XD100 stereo headphones.

The guy waltzed forward until he came next to one of the seats, and with his head keeping in time with Dave Baksh's guitar solo, sat down heavily in it and immediately leaned back, much to the protest of the chair. He slipped his hands behind his head as he waited for the solo to finish, before slipping his hands away to finger the notes and sing along to the final chorus before the song finally ended.

Immediately the head banging stopped and blue-grey eyes opened to focus on his task. He slid his headphones down onto his neck, and stretched out his arms before sitting up rapidly and walking over to the control panel. There, he proceeded to stretch out his arms again before typing furiously on an outstretched keyboard.

Immediately, the room sprang to life. Lights flicked on, computer monitors displayed their start-up screens, dials turned, switches flick on and off and red buttons flashed.

The guy stopped typing, reached across the table, and grabbed a recording microphone.

"HELLOOOOO FANFICTION!" he called into the device, "This is CtC's AuthorRep Jay-C here to tell you that this here story is a special one! Because it's here that you can send in your OC or AuthorRep and we will watch clips of Sonic 06, then give our feedback once they're done! Also, I personally will conduct interviews of said guests, and we can learn a bit more about the massive imagination of CtC."

"SO SEND IN YOUR CHARACTERS!"

**Hey guys, sorry for not doing anything for a month. Figured this would make up for it though…**


	2. Chapter 2

**AuthorComms: Sonic 06 Ch 2**

The Sonic guys, fresh off their interdimensional portal trip, watched in bewilderment as video game after video game came flying over their heads, hitting the far wall of the recording studio.

The culprit for the flying pieces of plastic was Jay-C, who had his head buried in a cabinet and continued to toss out games with a few seconds of interval in between each throw. He also called out some of the titles as he threw them.

"Halo 3… Halo Reach… Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2… H.A.W.X 2…" he stated, voice muffled by the wooden cabinet, "Ace Combat 4 to Zero… FIFA 11… NHL 2K10 aaaaaannnnnnddddd… Star Wars Battlefront 2!"

While the last title made it's ill-fated, high velocity trip to the plaster, Jay-C withdrew his head from the cabinet and faced the dumbstruck Mobians while still crouched.

"So what's it gonna be, dudes?" he asked, tilting his head slightly and giving a half-grin to them.

Shadow, Silver, Knuckles, Espio, Vector, Charmy, Tails, Dr. Eggman and Sonic all looked at each other in bewilderment before staring back at the host.

Silver spoke for the group, "Err… we'd love to play, Jay-C…"

"Call me Jay!"

"Okay, Jay… could you please tell us what we're doing here?" Vectorfinished, giving him Jay flinty look.

Jay rolled his eyes, "Did _any_ of you read the pamphlet?"

Silence.

Jay facepalmed, "I shoulda known Canada Post would have screwed it up…"

"Anyways, you've all been called here because I'm going to be doing some activities with you and a guest."

All groaned. "ANOTHER ToD?" Shadow whined.

"Fortunatly for you and not for your fangirls Shadow, no. This is not a Truth or Dare." Jay assured him.

The guys visibly relaxed with the knowledge that they would not be fed to homicidal teenaged girls

"Then Halo Reach it is!" Eggman shouted, earning him withering looks from the cast, "Wha?"

"DIE FAKER DIE!" 

"EAT MY SMG SHADOW!"

The two hedgehogs were in an all-out bloodfest against each other, Shadow using his military training to get to the best fighting places while Sonic, having sworn never to fire a gun in his life, was giving the Ultimate Lifeform one heckuva time in the battle. Knuckles and Eggman, holding the other Xbox controllers, were contented with having a good time picking off the two opponents of theirs while they attempted to re-create the Big Bang in the level. All the other guys stared with loose jaws at the carnage.

Jay picked up his jaw off the floor, dusted it off and slipped it back into place, "Is this a daily argument?"

Tails shook his head, "No, usually it ends up with at least one destroyed city in reality, not in the Haloverse. Usually it's about who's the faker, but sometimes they get into arguments about Amy."

Silver scratched his ear, "Speaking of which, where are the girls?"

"I gave them my sister's makeup to distract them for a while. Do you really want Cream to see this sorta stuff?"

"…Touché."

They settled back to watch the four, but then a new voice interrupted the rampage of total faker annihilation.

"Well this certainly wasn't what I was expecting…"

Everyone jumped in surprise (except for the two warring hedgehogs) and turned to see a neon red hedgehog wearing white and black clothing staring at them.

Jay walked out of the huddle, "You must be Neo. Welcome to AuthorComms, where reason is left at the door with your hat."

Neo looked confused, "Huh?"

"Just trying out the one of the possible catchphrases of the show. Anyways, welcome to the guest co-host position of AC."

The two OCs shook hands, but the moment was overshadowed by Sonic jumping off the couch, screaming like a maniac.

"HAHAHA! I WON! TAKE THAT SHADOW!"

"IT WAS A LUCKY SHOT!"

The cast, Jay and Neo sweatdropped.

"And on that note, I'd suggest we start…"

"Quit pushing Rouge."

"Keep you mouth shut if you know what's good for you, fox boy."

"HEY! Nobody talks to him like that except ME, the Ultimate Lifeform!"

After surveying the jostling, arguing Mobians in their separate room, Jay leaned back in his chair, exhaled and turned to his co-host, "Okay, here we go. Ready Neo?" 

Neo sat in his chair, hands behind his head and feet on the instrument panel. A smirk appeared on his face as this question.

"I've been on some of the worlds most dangerous spy missions. I think I can handle a small comedy fic."

Jay gave him a look, "But I sincerely doubt you've been inside CtC's imagination before. Anything can happen, as long as it involves something breaki-"

He couldn't finish, as a rather large explosion occurred in the wall to his right. Both the hosts dove for cover, while the cast pressed against the far wall in terror. After the dust settled, the culprit was revealed to be a rather large Scorpion tank that had knocked a rather large hole in the wall.

The Master Chief popped his head out of the turret and looked with genuine concern at the large hole he had knocked in the wall, "Sorry about that Jay."

The muffled, "No prob, MC.", came from behind an overturned table. Slowly the tank backed out of the wall, turned and sped off to hunt more Covenants.

Behind the table, Jay turned to Neo, "Case in point."

One rapid cleanup later:

"HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO MOBIUS! Welcome to the first ever episode of AuthorComms!" Jay shouted into the mic, before pressing a button on the panel that triggered an applause.

"I'm your host Jay, and tonight we have a very special guest, Neo from Neo's Shadow!"

Another button, and fangirl screams began, causing all the guys to dive for cover.

After the screaming died down, Neo began, "Thanks Jay, great to be here. I just wanna say that I really hope we can get through this episode without any interu-"

"MR. KNUCKLES! YOU BROKE MY DS!" Cream screamed, crying while holding the two halves of the gaming system.

Everyone turned to look at Knuckles with pure venom in their eyes.

Knuckles, knowing how much trouble he was in, immediately backed up into the corner, wide eyed, "I swear, I only asked to see it and it fell apart in my hands!"

The rest of them cracked their knuckles, and then pounced.

**PLEASE STAND BY AS WE ARE EXPECTING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…**

After Knuckles was excused from the episode, Charge started up the first cutscene.

(A.N: All cutscenes will be presented in Italics)

_Fireworks exploded over the Renaissance-styled city, as a massive barge sailed silently up a large central canal with people on all sides. On the barge, the young Princess Elise waved to her loyal subjects onshore while the barge rapidly made it's way up to the central temple. Pulling up at the steps leading to the temple, the princess climbed them to be greeted by the priest and his assistants. _

_One of the assistants handed a torch to Elise, who grasped it carefully and stared into the flame. However, she saw a vision of a giant cow-like monster that rose from a flame and attacked her city._

_She snapped out her trance when one of the assistants said her name. After assuring her halfheartedly that it was all right, she bowed to the priest and gave her speech on the cities thanks to their god Solaris. After stepping forward and lighting the massive torch, fireworks exploded and the princess waved to the crowd._

_Some of the fireworks somehow turned into missiles, and these slammed into the ground around the princess. She ducked and tried to hide as people screamed and a flying battleship came overhead. The battleship dropped SWAT robots, which surrounded the princess and her guards. Soon, a small vehicle floated down in front of Elise, with Dr. Eggman aboard. He demanded the Chaos Emerald that Elise somehow had, and was about to grab her when Sonic appeared, defeated all of the robots and then gave one of hois famously cheesy one-liners. Elise somehow saw him as Silver, and could only watch in wonder as Sonic introduced himself, picked her up and then shot off into the night._

_Up on top of a building, somehow unnoticed till now, Silver dramatically clenched his fist and declared his target found._

"Is it just me, or is anyone else getting a Call of Duty vibe from that thing?" Silver asked.

"I got it too, but what was with the whole hand-clench thing, Silver?" Jay shot back.

Silver shrugged, "I wanted to portray it in the most dramatic way possible… it seemed like a good idea then."

"What, to make yourself look like some guy out of The Tempest?" Blaze snickered.

Silver glared at her, but didn't respond.

Jay then moved on to the next question, "Eggy, what was with that design? You looked like some sort of car mechanic with a toilet brush fused to your lip wearing fancy clothes and floating in a giant Magnezone!"

"I… but… it wasn't me they cast, they put in some imposter!"

"Oh boy, here we go again…" Neo groaned.

"HE'S A FAKER!"

Sighing, Neo spoke, "Whatever Egghead, no one cares about you anyway in that story."

Eggman shot him daggers, and punched the nearest wall, resulting in him lying on the ground screaming after he broke his fist.

Jay rolled his eyes and called paramedics, "Final question, Sonic, what is it with you and horrifying one-liners? Especially that one. The only good ones in my opinion are the ones from Shadow."

"WHAT?"

"That's right, faker!"

"Answer the dang question!" Neo exclaimed, getting exasperated with the whole rivalry thing.

"Fine. I don't know, I just seem to come up with something cheesy for every situation, whether it be serious or not. I guess it's one of my pastimes, besides running, saving the world/universe and trying to figure out a way to Amy my confess my lo-I mean- why we can't be together."

"OOO SONIKU, I KNEW YOU LOVED ME!" Amy squealed, then promptly glomped him.

"Final thing, Shadow, you are to be covered in makeup by the girls and the result shall be viewed next chapter."

"WHAT?"

"That's all the time we have for right now, join us next time. Neo, thanks for coming out."

"No prob."

"SEE YA LATAH!"


	3. Chapter 3

**O.o 18 reviews for a two-chapter story?**

**Lemme count again, nope, defiantly 18.**

**O… M… G! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**

**Here is my disclaimer: **

**I own nothing in this story, besides the plot, my OC's Jay and Charge, and the settings. Any OC mentioned is property of their respective owners, and any mention to any real-life object or video game is property of their owners, NOT ME!.**

**Oh, and I don't own any Sonic Characters, or Sonic 06, and the latter is a blessing.**

"Okay, practice run take 1." A monotone computer voice droned.

"YO, WAZZUP, PEOPLE? WELCOME TO DEH NEXT CHAPTAH OF AUTHORCOMMS!" Jay yelled into the microphone, causing Blaze, Tails, Rouge and the mysterious figure seated beside him to cover their ears.

"A-HEM!" came the new guys voice, rubbing his sore ear.

"Oh yeah, sorry… THIS HERE BE CHARGE THE CAT, MY SIDEKICK FOR THIS HERE INSANE JOYRIDE!" 

"Than-HEY! YOU SAID I WAS A HOST!"

Well, I LIED!"

"Grr… WHY YOU LITTLE…" 

"Wel-HEY! PUT DOWN THOSE DAGGERS! NO, PLEASE! NOT THE- AUGH! THAT'S IT, FUZZBALL!"

_**Please stand by as we are experiencing some technical difficulties…**_

The host and co-host were sprawled on the floor unconscious. This, of course, was when the two temporary co-hosts decided to walk in…

"Whoa…" breathed Shade

"THAT looked painful…" Storm added with a cringe.

The two unconscious OC's groaned and rolled around.

"Ow." Jay complained, touching his upper hamstring gingerly and wincing.

"Ow is right." Charge agreed, touching his now-bruised arm before yelping and pulling away.

"Ahem, guys."

Two heads snapped around to take in Storm impatiently tapping her foot with her arms crossed and Shade standing with an eyebrow cocked.

"Oh, hey Storm." both replied, slowly getting up.

"So… don't we have a show to run?"

Jay rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, the cast is assembled, but we couldn't find Knuckles for some reason."

"Knuckles? I saw him sitting over some Corvette in the garage. It was black and green, and he had busted the steering whe-"

_**FWISH!**_

All that remained of Charge was a dust cloud and trail leading out the open door.

Then, the thumps and shrieking started.

Clearly, all three could hear Knuckles screaming, "NO, PLEASE! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOUR CAR, I JUS-NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! NO!"

Jay sweatdropped, "Shall we start?"

"Hello, people and welcome to AuthorComms Episode 2. Today, we have Storm and Shade as our co-hosts…"

"Hey!"

"S'up."

"… and Charge is now officially my sidekick for thus story."

"Mff!" was all the green cat could say, as he had been rubber-bound and gagged to prevent any further "distractions".

"Well, we've got a busy schedule tonight, so without further ado, let's get sta-"

_**BOOOOOOM!**_

All members of the hosting party and the cast dove for cover as another massive explosion rocked the studio.

Jay cautiously poked his head over, "AW COME ON! I JUST GOT THAT REPAIRED!"

As the dust settled from another hole in the freshly patched wall, the culprit revealed himself to be Sora, standing with keyblade drawn, looking around bewildered until he noticed the host.

"Sorry, Jay. Here, this should cover it." He tossed a gold coin to the Canadian, who caught it with a less-than-happy look on his face. Sora then ran off to go bash some more monsters.

"Okay, going to have to get that reinforced with titanium or something. Either that, or make a designated smashing spot…"

"Here, I'll start this show off." Storm offered, "Shadow, as per last request, you will now show us what the girls did to you."

"No." came the reply, muffled by a paper bag over the Ultimate Lifeform's head.

"Do it, or you'll be sorry."

"…" The paper bag was removed, to reveal Shadow with mascara, lipstick and blush on.

All of the characters and hosts looked at Shadow for a few seconds, then burst into a chorus of laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

Jay was laughing so hard he fell off the back of his chair, causing Storm and Shade to laugh even harder. Charge made a long muffled sound, presumably laughter, but the rubber tube in his mouth made it difficult to understand.

Jay stood up, his Maui Jim's hanging off the end of his nose, took one look at the Ultimate Lifeform, and promptly fell over laughing again.

Shadow stood, slowly fuming, until he finally snapped.

"CHAOS… BLA-" The Chaos energy fizzled out, "Wha?" 

Jay stood up again, holding a formal-looking document, and grinned devilishly, "You think I didn't plan ahead? This here document allows me to cancel out all powers unless I give the word, and you all signed it!"

Silence, and one heckuva lot of death glares.

Jay looked nervous, "I'ma gonna the cutscene now."

_~~X~~_

_Sonic ran, the town flashing by him, cradling Elise in his arms._

"_Um… Why are you helping me?" she asked._

_Sonic turned to look at her for a second, "Nor special reason."_

_He then jumped high into the air and landed in a courtyard._

"_Sonic!" Elise shouted suddenly, referring to the five SWATbots that had fallen out of the sky to block their path. Sonic set Elise down, then proceeded to own the five robots in the space of 10 seconds. Landing gracefully on one knee, he looked up to survey his work, before standing up slowly._

_Elise's cries interrupted his display of self-gloating, and he turned rapidly and stepped forward to see Eggman in his Eggmobile (read: MAGNEZONE!) lifting Elise into the air. _

"_I'm afraid our little game ends now." Eggman spoke, hands behind his back, while somehow controlling his craft. _

_Elise squirmed, then somehow managed to free an arm and toss a Chaos Emerald that she somehow had all this time to Sonic, who caught it overly-dramatically, and promised Elise he would rescue her._

"_Hmph. It's only a matter of time before it's mine." Eggman declared, pointing in a failed dramatic fashion at Sonic, "Until then, you can hold onto it for me."  
_

_The Magn- I mean, Eggobile rose to join with the doctor's battleship as stupid dramatic music played, and the battleship sailed noisily away. Sonic watched it fly overhead, and then took a few pointless steps towards it as he watched it sail overhead._

_-X-_

_Sonic was running through the streets, before he stopped when a familiar, but slightly annoying voice called his name._

"_Tails!" the blue blur exclaimed, "Long time, no see!"_

"_I'm glad you're here!" Tails stated, emphasizing his point with useless hand gestures, "I heard you tried to save their Princess from Dr. Eggman."_

_Sonic gave Tails a look, and then crossed his arms in a failed attempt to impersonate Shadow._

"_You're going to try to rescue her aren't you?" Tails continued, "Let me help! I may not know what Eggman's up to, but It can't be a good thing."_

_Sonic gave a thumbs up, but didn't look or sound very enthusiastic, "Okay, with your help, this should be a piece of cake!" _

_He then took off running slowly, while Tails chuckled, promised to do his best, and then took off flying after Sonic, his tails making an annoying helicopter sound while equally annoying background music played._

_~~X~~_

"!"

"BE QUIET, YOU INSOLENT BAT!"

"Bite me!"

"That's enough, Rouge and Eggman." Shade said threateningly, "First question, Tails, what is with that annoying helicopter sound?"

"I dunno…" the kitsune shrugged, "The editors decided to put it in for some reason, even though I don't really make a sound when I fly."

"True. I've heard Chao that fly louder than him." Blaze added.

"Like you would know what Chao sound like." Charge said, somehow unbound. 

"Keep out of this, Charge."

"Make me, baby sis…" 

The lights in the rooms darkened, and the temperature took a sudden jump as the two cats had a stare down that, had the glares been weaponized, could annihilate an entire continent.

"Hey, that's enough, you two." Storm interjected, " Second question, Knuckles, Err… what happened to your dreads?"

Charge grinned and Knuckles shrugged, his dreads shortened to up to his neck, "Let's just say a certain homicidal, self-obsessed feline gave me one heckuva beating for breaking a steering wheel."

"It was either a beating or a 15,000 ring replacement."

"… and now the beating didn't seem so bad…"

Jay spoke up, "Final question, Eggman, why do you have a Magn-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" everyone yelled.

"-Nehhh…uh, um, oh, geez… AHA! Magnetic-propulsion Eggmobile that looks so different than before!"

"… Leave my fa-" 

"DEFINATLY DON'T SAY IT!"

"… False equipment out of this, Jay." 

"Okay, whatever. That's all the time we have, Storm, Shade, thanks for coming out guys…"

"No, thank you Jay."

"And thanks to the massive amounts of reviews I got."

Charge nudged him, "The requests?"

"Oh, yeah. Silver, you will spend the time off CtC's imagination in Toronto, and we want to here a full summary of it when we get back."

"Okay…"

"And Eggman shall now be referred to as MR. TOILET BRUSH for the next 2 episodes."

"WHY ME?" MR. TOILET BRUSH wailed.

"SEE YOU NEXT TIME!"

"Peace!"

**FROM NOW ON, ALL AND ANY OC's AND/OR REQUEST MUST BE SENT IN VIA PM. SORRY, DON'T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE PEOPLE!**

**NEXT EPISODE'S CO-HOST(S): MELISSA FROM SSBB23!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AuthorComms: Chapter 4, Episode 3**

**And so the madness continues…**

"HAI EVERYBODY!"

Charge sweatdropped, " Yeah, Jay's a little hyper right now, even with a busted ankle…"

"ALL OF US BELIEVE, THAT THIS IS NOT UP TO YOU! THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THAT, IT'S UP… TOO… ME!"

"No idea how the opening of No Reason ties into all of this…"

"… and now I would like to introduce our temporary co-host…"

Charge facepalmed at the huge mood swing of the host.

"… Melissa the Hedgehog!" Cue pre-recorded studio cheers.

A female purple hedgehog wearing a dark-ish red sleeveless hoodie top, plain blue jeans, black fingerless gloves, red trainers with white vertical stripe and two black velcro straps walked in, noticed Charge, then tackled him with a hug.

"Aww." went everyone else in the studio.

"Er… good to see you too Melissa?" Charge looked completely bewildered at the sudden greeting.

Melissa turned to the cast and waved, "Hey everybody!"

Everyone waved.

"… and Eggman…"

"Actually, he's MR. TOILET BRUSH for now…" Jay informed her, getting a glare from said person.

"Oh…" she looked thoughtful, but then broke into a huge grin, "Let's get s-"

_**BOOM!**_

After the usual everybody dives for cover thing, the culprit was revealed to be this time around to be Jack Sparrow standing on the deck of the Black Pearl with cannons pointed at the wall.

"WHAT. THE . HECK? JACK, DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE TITANIUM IS?" I'll give you three guesses as to who.

"Oh, sorry Jay, me old mate." Jack shrugged, "Thought you were Barbossa and crew."

"Jack, this is the third time this year! Either pay up now, or I'll call the Imagination Police on you." Jay looked genuinely annoyed, and then some.

"Oh, you don't want to do that mate. You see, you don't want to do that, because not doing that will therefore make me happy, and you happy in my mind, which will make me happy, and then I won't be spending a year behind bars in jail. Savvy?"

Jay looked very confused, "Okay, only because you've now made me question the very fabric of existence, you're off the hook."

The Pearl sailed onward, while Jay looked at the hole with his hands on his hips, sighing, "And another repair job for me…"

Melissa squinted at something in the corner, "Do you think that the explosions might have something to do with that?"

Jay and Charge both looked, before Charge groaned and Jay's head sank into his hands.

"That's why."

Written on the wall in red paint was 4th.

"Welcome to Ch. 4 of AuthorComms, as always, this is your host Jay and my trusty servant Charge…"

"HEY!"

"… and joining us tonight is Melissa the Hedgehog!"

"Hey everybody!" she cheered.

"Okay picking up from last episode's request, Silver, what did you think of Toronto?"

The albino hedgehog spoke, "Well, actually, I liked it a lot. It was a pretty laid back place for a business centre, but I went to a Leafs game, and man it was crazy! But yeah, Toronto is in my top 10 favorite cities."

"Will you bring me next time?" Blaze asked sweetly.

Silver smiled, "Of course."

"How about me?" Rouge asked with a seductive wink.

"Uhh…"

"And sue cat/bat fight in 3… 2… 1… FIGHT!" Charge declared, then settled back to watch the carnage.

Jay pumped his fist "And chalk another battle for Canada! Let's get onto the cutscenes…"

There was a short pause, with everyone staring at Sonic.

"Sonic, why are you doing Caramelldansen?" Vector asked the obvious.

Sonic paused in his random dancing, "Y'know, I have no idea. I just had an urge."

"Okay…" Jay gave him a look that said everything, before silently slipping on Comin' Home by City and Colour.

-X-

_The giant battleship sailed over the small tropical island, blue engines flaring. A lopsided palm tree could be viewed from the camera angle._

_Sonic and Tails appeared, obviously just having stopped running, as they took a few steps after they came into view. They stared up at the battleship intently, as if their eyes were SAM systems trying to shoot it down._

_A random white feather that most likely came from a seagull flew through a blinding beam of sunlight and landed on the sand. Sonic's shoes came into view and he picked it up._

"_It looks like the princess was moved to another location!" Tails exclaimed, stating the obvious. He ran in front of Sonic and gestured wildly with his hands. _

"_Let's head back to the city!" he exclaimed, taking off without waiting for Sonic to answer._

_Sonic stared at the feather with an expression of annoyance, before grasping it and taking off running along the beach._

_-X-_

_Elise sat against a large stone pillar in a dusty dungeon as music that certainly did not fit her played softly._

"_You're a good girl Elise." Se heard her father's voice in her head, "Remember, be brave. Don't cry, no matter what happens." _

_**(A.N: He said this, then went off and died right in front of her. Sheesh, talk about do as I say, no as I do…)**_

_A far-away explosion that ended up being right beside her interrupted her inner montage. Sonic and Tails walked out of the dust, with Sonic looking like he needed a nap and Tails actually acting out a cute little wave while balanced on one foot._

"_Mr. Sonic!" Elise exclaimed, ignoring his obvious request to call him Sonic and hugging him randomly. He pushed her away, "Now, are you okay?"_

"_I'm so glad that you came." Elise answered the question wrongly. __**(A.N: YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE. (sets off nuclear explosion))**_

"_I always keep my word." Sonic stated._

"_SONIC!" Tails yelled randomly, facing away from the pair and spreading his arms outwards. Sonic turned quickly what looked like a giant IDog standing outside a set of gates that had randomly appeared._

_MR. TOILET BRUSH, now de-Magnezoned, somehow teleported to inside the gates even though he couldn't be seen before. His boots looked like they came out of a department store._

"_It looks like a blue rat has stuck it's pesky nose where it doesn't belong." He began, arms folded behind his back, "Well, a hedgehog to be more precise."_

_He pointed at the group, his hand looking like it was carved from wood, "The princess is mine (__**A.N: O.O**__)____until I unlock the Flames of Disaster." He finished the last part with a dramatic fist pull. He suddenly brought his fist down in front of his face and hit himself in the nose, making a sound like a doorstopper rattling._

'_Tails!" Sonic called out, shielding Elise with his body._

_Tails put on a badass face and stance, but the voice ruined it, "Got it, let's go!"_

_Sonic nodded, and they were all randomly transported to an arena._

-X-

"Cause I'm… comin' home, I'm comin' home. I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home. I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home. Comin' home…" Jay sang, strumming an imaginary acoustic guitar.

"Jay, did you even watch a second of that footage?" Melissa asked.

Jay looked insulted, "Of course! I loved it when Tails turned into Mohamed Ali and punched Elise in the face!"

Everyone facepalmed, "Let's just get onto Three Questions, shall we?" Charge asked, "I'll start. Sonic, you do realize that that feather came from a seagull, right?"

"…" Sonic continued to Caramelldansen nonstop.

Shadow punched him in the face, "Stop dancing and pay attention, faker!"

"Ow, yes. I was just acting in that segment. Y'know, put on a good show for the folks at home."

Melissa rolled her eyes, "Okay, question two. MR. TOILET BRUSH, do you have the power of teleportation like in that one scene?"

"THAT'S NOT ME! IT'S THE FA-"

"DON'T SAY IT IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE!"

"Say what?" asked Eggman Nega as he randomly walked in, only to be tackled by Charge and Blaze and beaten soundly in a very rare display of teamwork between the two.

"Que-SONIC, SERIOUSLY STOP DANCING!" Jay gave Sonic a punch in the gut, causing him to double over and cough, "Q number 3, Tails, that has to be the coolest pose I've ever seen you in. How do you feel about it?"

"Well, I did it that once, but I don't think I could do it again…"

"How does a massive contract with Boeing to mass-produce the Tornado X sound?"

"KYA!" Tails yelled, taking up the same pose.

"M'Kay, last thing. Shadow, here's an acoustic guitar, sing Comin' Home now." Melissa ordered.

"And your reason?"

"I'm an evil person, and you don't want this on the Internet, now do you?" She showed him a photo, and his pupils dilated significantly.

"Wher-" he sighed, "I hate you all."

"Well I've been down to Georgia

I've seen the streets in the West

I've driven down the 90, hell I've seen America's best

I've been through the Rockies, I've seen Saskatoon

I've driven down the highway 1 just hopin' that I'd see you soon

Cause I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)

I've never been to Alaska, but I can tell you this,

I've been to Lincoln, Nebraska and hell you know it ain't worth shit

I've been through Nova Scotia, Sydney to Halifax

I'll never take any pictures cause I know I'll just be right back

Cause I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)

I've seen a palace in London, I've seen a castle in Wales

but I'd rather wake up beside you and breathe that ol' familiar smell

I never thought you could leave me, I figured I was the one

but I understand your sadness so I guess I should just hold my tongue

But I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home (x3)

I know that we're takin' chances, you told me life was a risk

but I just have one last question...

will it be my heart or will it be his?

I'm comin' home. (x5)"

"WOOT! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Jay cheered, "I'm afraid that's all the time we have for now, dares for next time."

"Sonic, next episode you will remove your shoes." Sonic continued to dance ridiculously.

"Vector, I have something money-related for you next time." Guess who's eyes just turned into dollar signs.

"Rouge, you cannot flit with anyone for the next 5 chapters and the time in between each one." Jay pulled out a clipboard and squinted at it for a second, "And that's that! Thanks for coming out, Melissa!"

'No prob, Jay!"

"Join us next time!" Charge waved.

"CHEERS!"

**Next time: Bekah the Hedgehog and Shriek the Dark come to wreck havoc upon our poor studio, Jay tries to figure out how to prevent the fourth wall from breaking, and a possible surprise performance by someone!**

**PM me requests for dares, musical performances and things like that, as I am sorry to say I will only accept actual reviews in my story.**

**~CtC~**


	5. Chapter 5

**AuthorComms 06 Ch. 5**

**HEAVY HITS THE STAGE!**

Jay sat in the studio, sipping on a Limonata and typing out his homework on the mainframe computer.

"… and that is why Caliban is a misunderstood person exploited in The Tempest." He narrated, before hitting Command+S, "Done!"

He leaned back in his chair and, without looking, tossed the soft drink can into the recycling bin he knew was right behind him. However, instead of hearing the familiar "tchunk" of tin hitting plastic, he heard a loud "Ouch!" and the soft "tmp" of tin hitting carpet.

Knowing now that there was some one behind him, he turned to see Charge rubbing his eye with one hand and clutching a black writing notebook to his side in other.

"Watch where you're throwing those things." Charge growled at him.

Jay shrugged, "Can't be helped. What's with the notepad?"

"I found it on your writing desk." Charge answered, flicking the can into the recycling with his tail, "I got a weird feeling from it, as if it were… angry at something…"

"Lemme see." Jay ordered, reaching out and grabbing it, "Come to think of it, this looks pretty familiar…"

Charge leaned against the wall, "So are you gonna open it?"

Jay sighed, "Yeah, sure. Here goes…"

_**WHA-BOOM!**_

Jay and Charge both dove for cover as a massive shockwave of darkness and H2O blasted out of the book, while a column shot skyward and spilt backwards to reveal a black and grey hedgehog wearing a black miniskirt and a red spaghetti strap top and a slightly smaller pitch black hedgehog with a purple chest with purple quill highlights wearing a black jacket.

The onslaught of liquid/shadow Armageddon stopped abruptly, and the two hedgehogs fell to the floor beside the now closed book.

Charge popped up from behind an overturned table, "Hey Bekah, Shriek."

"S'up Charge" Bekah replied, before cracking her back, "Ugh, getting stuck in that stupid notebook is pure torture! When I get my hands on my author, I'll-"

"Mommy?" Shriek asked innocently, pointing at Jay, "Who's that?"

Bekah gave the host a hard look, "Yeah, who _are _you exactly?"

Jay stood up and dusted himself off "Proper introductions not withstanding, Jay, host of the show."

"Hi!" Shriek waved back happily, while his mother gave Jay a suspicious look, "I'm Shreik and this is my mum Bekah!"

"Nice to meet you both." Jay greeted them, "Let's get this show on the road…"

~CTC~

"Hello everyone and welcome to another installment of AuthorComms." Jay gave the usual intro, "As always, Jay and Charge here, and tonight's special guests are Shriek and Bekah the Dark!"

While the pre-recorded audience cheered, Shreik went chibi, "HAI! THIS IS SO COOL, LUV BEIN' HERE JAY!"

"Hmph." Was the reply from Bekah, her arms crossed and giving Blaze a glare that would turn stone into magma.

"Let's get this thing star-"

_**BOOM!**_

The usual dive and hide routine, followed by a familiar "AW C'MON!", then the culprit was revealed to be Ash Ketchum and Pikachu.

Ash looked inside guiltily, "Whoops, wrong giant wall to break down. Oh, um… hey Jay. Long time no see?"

He then beat a hasty retreat after he got a VERY clear message from the author as to when he should and should not go around knocking down random walls.

Bekah looked a little dazzeled, "So this happens EVERY time?"

Charge frowned, "Sadly, yes."

"Well what do ya know…" Bekah smirked and leaned back on the chair with her hands behind her head, "I might just enjoy this."

Shriek suddenly looked at Jay, "Y'know, you look a lot like Roxas from KH…"

Bekah fell off her chair, "Since when did you play Kingdom Hearts?"

Shriek's ear flattened against his head in embarrassment, "Never mind…"

"And after that blurb of randomness… ON TO THE CHALLENGES! Sonic, shoes off, NOW!"

"Okay, okay! Sheesh, and to think I save crazy Canadians like you on a daily basis!"

"YOU DARE INSULT CANADA?"

Sonic cowered in a chibified form, "Uh… oh Chaos…"

"Shadow, if y-" suddenly, Bekah dived out and tackled Sonic cutting off Jay.

"DIE FAKER!" she screamed.

Charge watched the beating with wide eyes, then turned to Shriek, "Does anybody from Child Welfare ever stop by your house?"

~CtC~

After the blue blur was carted off to the ER, the show resumed.

"We never did see him take off his shoes…" Jay muttered, before brightening, "Vector?"

"Yeah?" the croc was sitting in an office chair spinning in circles.

"Y'see that pile of 10,000,000 Rings over there?"

Vector's pupils turned to dollar signs, "YES!"

"It's yours..."

Vector rocketed out of the chair, arms outstretched to the pile of money as if he were welcoming his own child from school.

"…if you can get to it in time!"

The pile of notes suddenly burst into flames, courtesy of an unseen match thrown onto the kerosene-sated bills.

Vector watched the future fortune of his disappear into ashes, then fell to his knees and screamed to the heavens, "WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?" before running over to a corner and crying. 

"Because I'm a cruel SoB, that's why!" Jay struck a triumphant pose while the rest of the cast sweatdropped.

"MR. TOILET BRUSH…"

"Ugh, yes?" said the re-named mad doctor and antagonist of the Sonic franchise as he sat twirling his moustache.

"You get to drop the name, only 'cause you were badass in Unleashed and I want to beat the living he-"

"LANGUAGE!" yelled Amy, quickly covering Cream's ears.

"What? I was just going to say heck! Anyways, you are to be referred to Eggman until I say so."

"AHA! EGGMAN RETURNS!" the ovoid-shaped human struck a pose.

"Did you enjoy your freedom, because as of now I say you are to be referred to as BLUBBERS!" 

"NOOOOOOO!" BLUBBERS ran to the corner and cried.

"Note to self, mark as emo corner." Jay muttered. "Last thing, Rouge?"

Rouge, who had been hiding in the corner for the episode, crawled out, "Yeah?"

"Have you flirted with anyone for the past 2 months?"

A small halo appeared above Rouge's head, as she put on her most innocent face, "No sir."

"Uh-huh." Bekah did not look impressed, "Let's hear what the guys have to say shall we? Shadow?"

"Yes she did." Rouge flashed him a look.

"Silver?"

"Several times, in fact." Rogue and Blaze gave him the same look.

"Faker's gone, so Tails?"

Tails looked nervous under the combined evil looks Rouge and Cream, but he found his voice to say, "Yeah…"

Bekah facepalmed, "Did ALL the guys get hit on?"

A chorus of "Yup's", "Definatly's" and "Sure did's" followed.

Jay tsked and shook his head, "Not obeying the request? Bad choice, bat. TO THE FANBOY PIT WITH YOU!" 

"What, how… AIEEEE!" Rouge screamed as she fell down the random trapdoor that appeared below her.

Shriek smirked, "She got what was coming for her."

"And on that note, let's start the cutscene!" Charge hit the space bar on the IMac.

_~~X~~_

_A bright sun was set against an orange sky, almost like something out of the Lion King. Except the Lion King wasn't set on a tropical island, and there were no killer mutant robots flying out in the dozens to kill the protagonists._

_Sonic cast a green pupil over his shoulder from where he was talking to Elise. Turning, he raised his hands in frustration, then crossed them, "Ho long is this gonna go on?"_

_Tails suddenly jumped as if he had discovered a snake on his shoe, "Let's split up!" he exclaimed, as Sonic turned to face him, "I'll get their attention, and you take the princess!"_

_Sonic looked from Tails to Elise before striking a thumbs-up, "Okay! But you be careful Tails!" However, the words moved faster than his mouth._

"_Leave it to me!" Tails declared with his hands in the air, before running and taking off for places unknown._

_Sonic hefted Elise up, looked at her, blinked and instructed, "Hold on tight."_

_Elise nodded, "OK."_

_Sonic then wound up and took off at low speeds for his destination._

_~~X~~_

_Sonic ran with the princess across the Windows XP default background, as Elise hugged him tightly._

_They finally came to a stop, and Sonic set Elise down. Staring at him, she bowed her head, "I have no words to express how grateful I am for your help." She adjusted a strand of hair, before standing incredulously at the Blue Blur's arm, "You're hurt!"_

_Sonic looked at the undamaged arm, moved it around a bit and spoke the obvious, "It's nothing."_

_She rushed over and knelt by the hedgehog, "Don't say that!"_

_Sonic looked around embarrassed at the human hanging onto his uninjured arm, tying it up in a bandage. After a short while, he struck a thinking pose while looking up to the sky. _

"_I'm sorry, it's all my fault." Elise's confession surprised him. He turned to look at the princess._

"_Smile." was his response, raising his hand in the air. He waved a finger and shook his head, when suddenly a purple-blue butterfly landed on his nose. Both he and Elise looked on with wonder at the insect as it settled there. Elise then grinned and flicked it off. Both turned to watch it fly off into the clouds._

_~~X~~_

"QUESTION TIME!" Shriek declared, "Sonic, are you turning into Confucius or something? You keep dropping metaphors like bombs in a war!"

"Shriek, the faker's gone." Shadow quietly reminded him.

Bekah shrugged, "Q 2. Tails, where did you run off to?"

"Oh, um. I went off to the other side of the island, but when I turned around, expecting all the bots to have been chasing me, they were gone!"

"Okay…" Bekah raised a questioning eyebrow. "Question three, GO JAY, TAKE IT AWAY!"

She gestured to the now empty seat where the host usually sat, "What the?"

Suddenly, the blonde dude busted down the door. Instead of his usual hoodie and jeans, he now wore a t-shirt, jeans, Maui Jims and a bandana around his neck. He also had his black Squier Stratocaster with him.

"WHOA! WE'RE HALF-WAAAYY THE-RE! **WHOA-OH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!**"

Everyone immediately face-faulted as Jay finished the song.

"Can this get any more random?" Charge wondered aloud, before covering his mouth, "Aww Snickers."

Randomly, a Digglet popped up in the middle of the room, tiles spewing off it's observation point, "Digglet!"

Another one followed suit, "Digglet!"

Suddenly, a Heavy from Team Fortress 2 crashed into the room, knocking down the door and flattening Jay, who was still rocking out, underneath it.

"DIGGLEHT!" he shouted with an expression that rivaled Sonic Colours for disturbing happiness. However, this turned into anger as he stared at the Mobians staring at him with a "WTF?" expression on their faces. The two Digglets quietly burrowed away unseen.

"WHAT?" he yelled, before he focused on Tails, "YOU! YOU ARE DEAD!"

"Me?" Tails pointed to himself, but if needed no more confirmation as the Heavy charged him with a massive Gatling cannon.

"WAH!" Tails shrieked, zipping off with his namesakes.

"YOU'D BETTER RUN, COWARD!" the beefy Russian screamed, as the two disappeared out the other door.

Bekah, Shriek, Silver, Shadow and Charge were desperately trying to revive the host, who was currently flatter than a pancake. Tails' screams and Heavy's battle cries and gun bursts could be heard over their efforts at inflating him again.

"Maybe if we stick him on a helium nozzle?" Shadow offered, crossing his arms.

"And risk him floating into the stratosphere?" Silver retaliated, "I think we want him to stay on solid earth, thank you!"

"Just a suggestion." Shadow muttered, closing his eyes.

"I've got an idea." Charge smirked, "Everybody stand back."

Everyone backed away quickly, before a small bolt of lightning streaked down and burned into CtC's pants. The former pancake wannabe popped back up into shape, clutching his burning pants not unlike a certain red plumber.

"YEOW! ME BUM'S ON FIRE!" screamed the Canadian, as he shot off to the bathroom to put out his flaming rear.

"Couldn't have done it better myself!" Blaze chuckled.

Charge was about to respond when a trio of Heavy's broke through the wall.

The three muscular Russians stared angrily at the gathered surprised Mobains.

"WHAT?" they yelled, before warming up their cannons. All the fighting Mobians got into their battle stances.

Suddenly, one of the Heavy's was hit by a small rock, "HEY, TRIPPLETES OF BIG FAT AND UGLY!"

All three turned, ignoring Tails as he dove through the door, "WHAT?"

Jay, standing in a pair of green skull-print boxers and a t-shirt, smirked and held up a deluxe Montreal Smoked Meat sandwich.

All three Heavy's looked on with an expression of wonder, before the center one spoke the obvious, "SANDVICH!" All three jaws fell open with happiness and a loud bang.

Jay smirked, and as the fourth Heavy (Tails' stalker) appeared, tossed it into the open hand of the big guy and gave him a pat on the back as he went by.

As the fourth one ran away expressing his delight at the gift, the other three growled and roared. Soon, they chased the other one out of the room, and eventually out of the building. From there, muffled yelps and yells, followed by thumps could be heard.

Jay strutted in to the group of astonished Mobians, and struck the same triumphant pose.

"NEVER, EVER underestimate the Montreal Smoked Meat Sammich!" he declared, before getting out of his pose and walking to stand face-to-face with Charge, "Now sing."

"Huh?" the feline was confused.

"Sing, as in express your voice in a way that is musical and settles lightly upon the ear."

"Oh, what song?"

"Choose between Underclass Hero and Walking Disaster."

"Uh… Walking Disaster?"

"THEN GET A MOVE ON!" 

"OKAY, OKAY!

_I haven't been home for a while_

_I'm sure everything's the same_

_Mom and Dad both in denial_

_An only child to take the blame_

_Sorry, Mom, but I don't miss you_

_Father's no name you deserve_

_I'm just a kid with no ambitions_

_Wouldn't come home for the world_

_Never know what I've become_

_The king of all that's said and done_

_The forgotten son_

_This cities buried in defeat_

_I walk along these no-name streets_

_Wave goodbye to All..._

_As I fall..._

_At the dead-end I begin_

_To burn a bridge of innocence_

_Satisfaction guaranteed_

_A pillow-weight catastrophe_

_Our own mission nowhere bound_

_Inhibitions underground_

_A shallow grave I_

_Have dug all by myself_

_And now I've been gone for so long_

_I can't remember who was wrong_

_All innocence is long gone_

_I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief_

_Where I belong_

_A walking disaster_

_The son of all bastards_

_You regret you made me_

_It's too late to save me_

_(You regret you made me_

_It's too late to save me)_

_As far as I can tell_

_It's just voices in my head_

_Am I talking to myself?_

_'Cause I don't know what I just said_

_(And she said)_

_As far as where I fell_

_Maybe I'm better off dead_

_Am I at the end of nowhere_

_Is this as good as it gets?_

_And now I've been gone for so long_

_I can't remember who was wrong_

_All innocence is long gone_

_I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief_

_Where I belong_

_A walking disaster_

_The son of all bastards_

_You regret you made me_

_It's too late to save me_

_(To save me, to save me, to save me, ...)_

_("It's too late")_

_("It's too late")_

_To save me, to save me, to save me, to save me_

_And now I've been gone for so long_

_I can't remember who was wrong_

_All innocence is long gone_

_I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief_

_Where I belong_

_A walking disaster_

_The son of all bastards_

_You regret you made me_

_It's too late to save me_

_I will be home in a while_

_You don't have to say a word_

_I can't wait to see you smile_

_Wouldn't miss it for the world_

_I will be home in a while_

_You don't have to say a word_

_I can't wait to see you smile_

_Wouldn't miss it for the world_

"AND THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE PEOPLE!" Shriek shouted.

"REQUESTS!" Shadow and Silver yelled to remind him.

The demonhog shook his head, "Oh yeah. Okay, Amy? Next time you have to kiss every single guy on the cast, INCLUDING HOSTS!"

"WHAT?" Charge, Jay and Amy yelled together.

The youngster continued, "Shadow, you are to change your black to pink and your red to sky blue for a chapter. Failure to comply? Fangirl pit."

"Great." the Ultimate Lifeform muttered.

"Charge?"

"Uh-oh, yeah?"

"You have to write a poem on how much you love your sister and admire her, to be read next time. Oh, and you have to wear rubber gloves for the entire thing." 

Charge slammed his head into the wall and groaned.

Blaze grinned, "Justice is served."

"Not quite. You have to do the same for him."

"Aww man!" both groaned.

"EVERYBODY DO THE MACARENA!" Jay shouted, breaking out into said dance as everyone's pupils dilated and face faulted.

Charge finally spoke up, "Thanks for coming out Bekah and Shriek."

Bekah groaned, "No problem, I guess?"

"And we'll see you all next week!"

"HEY MACARENA!" Jay shouted, jumping into a Broadway finishing pose.

SpongeBob then broke down the wall wearing white wraparound shades with a purple tint.

"I'MMA GOOFY GOOBAH!" he sang, before he and Jay started to headbang along to the music.

Charge looked up to the ceiling, "A normal author was all I asked for."

**I hereby dedicate this chapter to PupLaura as a late birthday present and as a hope you feel better gift.**

**PM for characters and requests. I NEED REQUESTS!**

_**~CtC~**_


End file.
